Claire Foy as Queen Elizabeth II in The Crown.

THINGS I HAVE SHOUTED AT THE CROWN

On November 28th, 2016 in SHOUTING

MONARCHIES ARE DUMB.

HANS ZIMMER YOU SELF-PLAGIARIZING PUTZ THIS IS JUST THE BATMAN THEME SLOWED DOWN.

ELIZABETH IGNORE YOUR MOTHER. YOU. ARE. THE. QUEEN.

PHILLIP YOU CLOD THAT IS NOT HOW MONARCHIES WORK.

JOHN LITHGOW PLAYS A GREAT PENGUIN.

I CAN’T TELL IF THAT’S RACIST BECAUSE IMPERIALISM OR RACIST BECAUSE BAD WRITING.

PHILLIP. SHE. IS. THE. QUEEN. GET ON YOUR KNEE.

AND YOU BETTER TAKE A TURN ON YOUR KNEES IN THE BEDROOM NOW AND THEN SIR.

FIRE THAT SENTIENT MUSTACHE YOU CALL A PRESS SECRETARY.

I DON’T THINK SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE DOORS.

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SORRY I GOT LOST IN CLAIRE FOY’S EYES BUT I’M BACK NOW.

WHY ARE THERE ONLY EVER 3 CORGIS ON SCREEN AT A TIME WHEN SHE OWNS LIKE 50. GIVE ME THE HERD OF PUPPIES I CRAVE.

HOW DARE YOU MAKE A GOOD SUGGESTION WHEN I AM TRYING TO HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, PHILLIP.

ELIZABETH IS UNDER THIRTY BUT HER GOVERNMENT IS A SELF-DESTRUCTIVE HERD OF GERIATRICS AND I RELATE TO THAT VERY DEEPLY.

DID THEIR ABILITY TO IMPORT COLORED DYES FOR THEIR CLOTHES END WITH THE COLLAPSE OF THEIR EMPIRE?

EVERY SCENE IN THE PALACE IS SO BACK-LIT BUT I RESPECT THE POWER MOVE BY THE MONARCHY TO BUILD THEIR PALACE ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN.

MARGARET IS BEING DENIED MARRIAGE BY THE GOVERNMENT ON RELIGIOUS GROUNDS IS ALSO V. RELATABLE.

I AM HERE FOR THE DRAMATIC FLASHBACKS OVER A DINNER SPEECH SET TO DRAMATIC MUSIC. I AM SO HERE FOR IT I MIGHT BE A LOYALIST NOW.