Questionable Advice On Brick Laying

On June 28th, 2016 in Humor

Questionable advice on brick laying (among other things).


Man blowing on a cloth placed underneath a brick.

“So I just put my hand here and mouth… here?”

Yea, just kind of fellate it.

“How long did you say you’ve been a mason?”

Almost a whole hour.


Hands holding what looks like a potatoe against a painting canvas.

“This is making a big mess”

Art is messy.

“No, but. I think this is just a mess. A starchy mess.”

That’s just the price of painting with potatoes.

“The price…”

Of painting with potatoes.


A boy scout dragging another boyscout out of a fire with rope.
“I know for a fact that this is not how three legged races work.”

Who has more badges?

“I don’t see—”

Which one of us has more?

“You.”

So, maybe I know how this works?

“But, you just bought them bulk from a craft store and stuck them on your shirt.”

Where do you think your badges come from?

“…”

“Can we at least put out the fires?”

No.


A victorian women in a scirt straddling a big with a cross bar nearly on the ground. It looks like a scooter with bike wheels.

“I don’t…I don’t think this is right.”

It looks good to me.

“Where are the pedals? And the seat? Really the whole middle bit is missing.”

Yes, how are you going to get any exercise if you’re sitting the whole time?


Rugby players huddled with a lot of hands on a lot of butts.

Yes, good. Just get together.

“Like this?”

Yup and just touch each other’s bums.

“Just,”

Just go ahead and scoop up some tusch.

“What do we do with the ball?”

The what?


Man with crotch on fire wrapping himself in a rug.

“THIS SEEMS WRONG AND DANGEROUS.”

It’s only dangerous if you don’t follow instructions.

“BUT I DID AND NOW I’M ON FIRE.”

Pajamas can be tricky to work at first.