Questionable Advice From The Turn Of The Century

On March 16th, 2016 in Humor

Gallaher’s cigarette’s founded in 1857 used to print advice on their cartons. I find some of it to be of questionable reasoning.

gallaher_sliced bread

“Okay I’m slicing the bread, and I get that. Knife in and down, nice even spacing. But,”

Yes?

“But, just I don’t get why the milk is on fire?”

You don’t want to give your guests cold milk do you?

“Would that be bad?”

Would it ever! You need these courses worse than I thought.

gallaher_broken plate

If you hold it sideways it creates the illusion of it being a bowl now!

“Are you sure this is how to do it?”

Of course. You’re doing great.

“Fix a plate, I mean.”

Yea, but it’s a bowl now.

gallaher_firefight

“I don’t want to-”

I know.

“I don’t want to hit it.”

You won’t hit it, you’ll just threaten it.

“But,”

Just make yourself look bigger than it and the fire should put itself out.

gallaher_tight pants

“I think these pants are too tight.”

No, that’s just how pants are. It promotes posture.

“I hurt everywhere.”

Pants are a feat of strength, that is why they are men’s clothing.

Gallaher_butter

“Okay the butter’s on fire, like you said to do. What’s this telling us?”

Telling us?

“Yes, what are we learning from this?”

That fire is great?

“…”

Do you have any milk?