Princess Zelda holding a sword.

Princess Zelda Is 100% Gay

On March 23rd, 2016 in LGBT

Princess Zelda, is 100%, without a doubt, a total and complete lesbian, even though the canon won’t admit it.

She is not ashamed, but she does not bring it up; she has a kingdom to run and a duty produce heirs. She is not happy about it, but she recognizes that as royalty she is better off than most, and she will not waste her privilege. She will also make out with the milk maids when no one is looking. These are things of which I have no doubt.

Let us exam the facts:

Her biggest enemy is a dude who insists she owes him something.

She is quick to seize any opportunity to dress in drag.

She has dreams that are actually premonitions of the future. It is a known fact that all lesbians are clairvoyant.

That huge crown jewel just screams out as a warning to men.

As someone running a government she is aware of the power of symbols. What then does she choose to surround herself with? PURPLE AND TRIANGLES NOW GET OFF MY LAWN.

She plays a harp, but I promise you if guitars had been invented yet she would be all over it and the ladies she hopes it will cause to flock to her at parties.

Twilight Princess showed her for a real shadows girl.

She is constantly wearing gloves, which means she she can’t have long fingernails.

She is obsessed with spiritual stones and mother goddesses.

She definitely made out with Saria in the sacred realm. Prove me wrong.