A gif of owls. From left to right: An owl chocking down a mouse roughly its size, one chittering inanely, and two making direct eyecontact with the camera while arching their backs and swaying in opposite directions one over the other.

Owls Are Metal As Heck

On May 19th, 2016 in Humor


When they’re offspring dies they will feed it to their other hatchlings. Metal AND pragmatic.

Literally used for metal band covers.

They kill under cover of darkness.

One of them used 70 lemmings to MAKE A NEST. If only we could all find the strength and pride to build our homes out of our enemies.

You do not name something ferruginous pygmy owl because it is a pansy prey animal.

They regurgitate entire skeletons, while (I assume) making horrific sounds that would make a sick audio backdrop.

They were using radar and satellite tech probably before we were walking, with facial disks to funnel light and sound so their prey can never escape. But, also so they can take in the maximum hardcore concert experience.

They have serrated feathers for silent flight. Let me be clear: THEY HAVE KNIFE WINGS TO CUT THROUGH THE AIR BEFORE CUTTING THROUGH THEIR PREY

A proposed theory for the tendency of females to be bigger is that they have literally terrified the males into shrinking. Feminist AF metal heads.