A man squatting in a corner and flexing his arms, waiting for someone to notice he's been working out.

How To Get Swole

On October 26th, 2016 in How To

  1. Go to the gym 3-5 nights a week and watch an intense serial drama to both give you a boost of nervous energy and allow you to avoid eye contact with anyone else there.
  2. Eat foods high in protein after working out, like one of those fancy bars that you suspect are really just square cookies or potatoes, probably.
  3. Waffles? Breakfast is the most important meal so waffles are probably good to eat too.
  4. Roll your sleeves over your shoulder the moment the thermometer reads above 70 degrees.
  5. During your commute, wonder intensely when someone will notice you’ve been working out.
  6. Always scratch itches with the arm from the opposite side of the body so you can flex it while you do.
  7. Scratch imaginary itches, especially around your neck.
  8. Congrats, you are swole! Take time to remind yourself of the many health benefits of an active lifestyle in the mirror every morning, with your shirt off.