A skeleton leaning its elbow on a desk, probably wondering how terrible it must be to alive during a modern election.

Friday Roundup: See You On The Other Side

On November 4th, 2016 in Quibbles

Hey Y’all, we made it. There are finally no more Fridays between us and Election Day.

Let’s get the obligatory “make sure you vote” out of the way now. Seriously, the government is a flaming pile of garbage but it is our flaming pile of garbage and not some despot’s pile dripping trash juice on our heads, and that is something special. So go vote. And if you see something, say something.

I’d be more shocked and appalled but after this year I have very little emotion left, even for when I hear Facebook is assisting sellers with housing discrimination.

Maybe they’d catch these errors sooner if they weren’t using a shadow council as their de facto editorial board.

They could always take a tip from Twitter and outsource their moderation team to BuzzFeed.

Which is at least something, since Twitter’s upcoming changes probably aren’t going to help. (Spoiler alert: they are bad.)

Other things that are bad:

The beef industry and over (in)breeding cows.

Microsoft, reasserting itself as the office tool.

Single digit billionaires, completely unmoored from reality but urging others to get in touch with it.

Meeting your heroes. Look, eventually that costume has to come off and that dog is going to be very sad and confused about why their friend never comes to visit again is all I’m saying.

And Starbucks cups. Is it me or does Get Mad At Starbucks Cups Season come earlier each year?

Coincidently the cost of a Starbucks signature drink is about how much Facebook makes off of its users through advertising every month. Jokes on them, I’d gladly pay like twice that to opt out of an internet’s worth of ads.

Other things I’d like to avoid include STIs, so please start using condoms again. They are not just about preventing pregnancies, so take your medicine, sneeze into your elbow, don’t touch disgusting things because you will touch your face without thinking five minutes later, and use rubber even with partners you’ve been married to for three and a half millennia, thank you for your time.

Speaking of time: it’s up. Paris agreement takes effect this month, but it’s too little too late and we will not see concentrations of CO2 below 400 ppm in our lifetime.

An ideal government would take immediate and extreme action, but lol. Maybe when the forests begin to move they’ll heed the prophecy.

In the meantime, let’s just keep talking about emails, I guess.

Happy weekend. Since Halloween is over, I’m going to start putting up christmas decorations.