A creepy man with a powdered white wig rests his hands on his chin while he surveys a chess board with little women on it.

Friday Roundup: The Only Winning Move Is Not To Play

On October 7th, 2016 in Quibbles

Hey, y’all. It’s Friday, which means we’re finally done suffering through another week

The big question this week is do woman have a right to privacy? Obviously, yes, even the worms writhing on keyboards and managing to post to 4chan have privacy.

But, it can be difficult to keep everyone on equal footing. Not everyone has the White House looking out for them.

The good news is Silicon valley is dedicated to helping women achieve equality. In fact, they are so dedicated Silicon Executives don’t even have time to follow any of women on Twitter. Elon Musk doesn’t even follow his own mom. I guess the only time a man is allowed to interact with a woman on the internet is during a coordinated abuse campaign.

If the valley doesn’t like what The Guardian and Motherboard are writing about them, they should see if Adult Swim will write them some snappy comebacks. I’m sure they’d be sympathetic to the cause, since there’s no women at Adult Swim to raise objections.

Cool Pope Francis is on women’s side, though. He just wants you to know that. He can’t do anything about it because of his vows, but Cool Pope Francis is super into women and their role in traditional family and is definitely straight, bro, and that’s what’s important.

The better news is, none of this matters, because the ice caps are melting, and scientists are sending out overdraft notices to the entire planet. That is gonna be one heck of a fee.

If you look really hard and ignore the fact that we’re hurtling towards our own extinction level event you’ll find some things to be grateful for:

Taxes, I guess? They’ll allow us to at least delay our transition to a global Mad Max cosplay.

The only good thing to ever come of an advertising driven economic model: 4chan is going broke because turns out no one wants to be associated with racist drivel.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg and her endearing words that make me almost want to feel hopeful against my better judgement.

And, of course, hot sauce in your bag.

We done, bitches. Happy Weekend.