A giant pile of bat poop.

Friday Roundup: Everything Is Totally Fine And Not Horrifying

On November 18th, 2016 in Quibbles

Hey y’all. Better buckle up because this week has made it clear that 2016 will not go gentle into that good night.


It has been a little over a week since the election and, just, fuck everything .  

Or just wait until the new government does, since they have no idea what is going on and the transition team is riddled with conflict and conflicts of interest .

The VP is embroiled in his own email scandal now , or he should be, but he doesn’t wear blue or have a vagina, so he is impervious to things like email scandals, pant suits, being held accountable for his actions, and discussion of whether he needs more makeup (he does). So, I guess we’ll never know how much he’s donated to Planned Parenthood .

What statements have come from the administration have been horrific things like citing WWII internment camps as precedent for their plans. The rest have been lies and obfuscation.  Lots to look forward to, like to the first chance we get to hear of something being executed in the name of national security.

For the racist fundamentalists out there, let me try and put this in perspective so you can see a little more clearly.   Cain slaughtered Abel and set precedent for fratricide, but despite the fact that he still takes my things without asking I refrain from fucking murdering my brother .

I don’t know where y’all are looking but you need to try harder to find Jesus.

But speaking of crosses, the KKK’s into it . Plenty of people are, actually. Emboldened by that giant orange pimple on the face of the country, hate crimes are up .

Well, “people” is giving them too much credit: they are small, frightened men, cowering beneath their better selves . It almost makes you want to feel bad for them, but don’t. They deserve no sympathy and I will never forgive them for what they and their tiny hands have done.

It’s not entirely their fault though, politicians preying on their fear of death have their share of the blame. But, big deal, join the club we’re all terrified of death.

Paint some pictures, cherish your time with your family, put on that crushing Lukas Graham song and cry in the break room while making a list of things you’re going to to do find meaning in your free time that doesn’t include concentration camps like the rest of us.

Uhg. Just delete the country and start over. And while you’re at it, delete that melted crayola crayon that is about to inhabit the White House’s Twitter account .

This whole week has been almost stranger than fiction . Except this is reality, it’s always been happening  and many of us just had the privilege to ignore it. Better not make that mistake again .

And some of this year is literally fiction, what with all the fake news on Facebook , but ol’ Zuckster’s got the privilege to ignore that too .

It’s a problem that’s become very apparent: how do you convince someone who is sure everything is a lie of the truth ?

Facebook’s hesitation to try is understandable, though, there’s no way they could comb through all our private messages to censor them . Oops. I guess they can.

I don’t know why that Zuckle head is so hesitant to upset the racists, when they’re tanking his business .

Thankfully a team of anonymous employees are standing up to the mean Berger . Love to leave my fate in the hands of vigilantes. It worked so well for us with WikiLeaks.

Well whatever, internet freedom down for sixth year in a row , so might as well just commit.

Then what are we to do with an outlook bleaker than a smog laden sunset on Mount Doom? Anything we can .

Pick your battles . It will be hard, but keep speaking truth . Protect yourself and others. Be an ally and support those around you .

But be mindful, you may be shocked and terrified, but many have been dealing with this long before you deemed yourself woke .

As usual, Ask Polly ’s Heather Havrilesky says it better:

We need each other. We all have to draw on something inside ourselves right now. We cannot give in to the worst parts of our natures. We can’t look at the nightmares and say, “This is humanity. Humanity is evil.” We must have compassion, and bear witness to horrors and ugliness and STILL be compassionate and reach out toward each other, in spite of our rage.


Happy weekend. Take some time to read or relax, and remember: you don’t have to hear both sides . Walk. Away.