An oil fire.

Friday Roundup

On July 1st, 2016 in Quibbles

Hey y’all. Another week of horrifying learning experiences has come to an end. Finally.

Buzzfeed is getting dragged this week for stealing content by Akilah Hughes, and it isn’t the first time.

Some employees tried to engage her and then quickly backpedalled, only to learn you should never write an email when you can make a phone call.

That’s why I never write anything down, certainly not on twitter, or a web site, where everyone can see it.

The internet has enough thoughts anyway, it’s like an obscene deluge of crude oil into a California ravine.

You know what else internet posts and oil companies have in common? No one is interested in regulating them.

Unlike, say, manufacturer repair monopolies which are implicitly enforced since no one tells you “void if removed stickers” are void, and court is prohibitively expensive even when they do.

If only a silicon valley mogul with millions of dollars to sue someone because they felt like it could help us out.

I’d do it, but even my government-issued school loans are predatory.

Ah, but, times they are a changin’.

Like, now you can order birth control online, so you don’t have to sneak past a bunch of neo-conservative picketers just to get basic healthcare!

And soon the robots will take jobs away from even our swolest weight lifters.

If they get the chance, that is. Because now that we’ve found feathers from the Cretaceous period, we should probably just clone it and give the planet back.

Especially since the The Toast is closing and what even is the point of anything anymore?  I wrote a piece there once, after writing the world’s worst pitch letter which less generous editors probably would have deleted.

It’s sad, but I am glad they are doing it on their own terms and so glad for the beautiful thoughts Mallory, Nicole, and Nicole have poured out into the world for us.

And God bless them with the biggest mansions in Heaven for actually making comments readable.

Happy weekend. I’m going to go think about how even Sriracha is a better personal essay than I will ever be able to write.