Ted Cruz yelling into a microphone with a pained looked.

Friday Roundup

On May 6th, 2016 in Quibbles

Hey y’all, looks like it’s Friday, so let’s kick this hypocritical media rage machine into gear.

It is a rare occurrence for straight men not to come out ahead, but this week’s championship title of “literal worst” goes to pet owners.

If fact, straight men are doing something revolutionary: starting book clubs. And Slate thinks they should be applauded for their fight against the patriarchy.

I dunno though, that might be giving them too much credit. They’ve had control of the most powerful safe spaces, like the Situation Room, for decades and look where that’s gotten us.

Who knows, the way this week’s been going maybe they’re right, I can’t even tell who’s good and not anymore. Recently lauded as a champion of personal data, Apple is stealing everyone’s music for themselves and all our green eateries are the same shit-brown as everything else.

But, don’t panic! As much as things change, they stay the same and right there off port, is Twitter, a shining failure, guiding us like the north star through this mercurial sea of duplicity and into the imminent collapse of internet advertising.

There’s also ever present bigotry, and the harsh reality of being a woman in charge. Both things I’m sure will get no easier with this horrifying new face recognition software with no safety guidelines.

And, who can forget the constant sucking of a year long election cycle. Though, someone should hug David Roberts over at Vox, since he just realized the 2016 election is going to be terrible.

Oh, honey. Welcome to the party; you’re just in time to leave it.

And now that we’re done with the grind, it’s time to get to work, whatever that means to you. Happy weekend.