A woman writing at her desk with a quill, holding her chin and smirking.

Curriculum for a Survey Course in Procrastinating

On October 5th, 2016 in Humor

Course Description: This course will explore the mechanisms and use of procrastination. The course will be broken into two units: Methods and Applications. The first unit, Methods, will make up the bulk of the course, with the second unit not being covered until absolutely necessary, the week before the final.

 

Prerequisites: Responsibilities 102, Introduction to Generalized Anxiety (recommended)

 

Unit 1 – Methods of Procrastination

  • With traditional media and binge-holes
    • Netflix
    • Buzzfeed
    • YouTube
  • With social media
    • Chasing the bottom of infinite-scroll feeds
    • Participating in the internet outrage machine
    • Creeping on frenemies, exes, and crushes
  • With other responsibilities
    • Chores
      • Housekeeping while on deadline
      • Recategorizing your shelves
      • Meticulously grooming your pets
    • Clubs and Socializing
      • Joining a group is an important commitment to keep, too
      • Reducing stress so you can focus better when you start working
    • Other Projects
      • How far out does a deadline need to be to qualify as procrastinating
      • Choosing projects for minimum task overlap
      • Hobby projects keep you well rounded and provide new ways to tackle problems
  • Miscellaneous
    • Lying quietly on your bed with your work open on a nearby computer
      • Staring at the ceiling or face-down into your pillow: pros and cons
      • Focusing on the sound of your own breathe
      • Tips for helping your mind go blank at the sheer enormity of your “To Do”s.
    • Procrastinating at your desk when deadline is too close for you to justify you being anywhere else
      • Pushing pens and pencils back and forth
      • Keeping tabs on other interests with multiple browser tabs
      • Staring intently at a screen with your fingers on the keyboard but typing nothing

Unit 2 – Applications

  • Procrastination in the workplace
  • Procrastination at home
  • Procrastination on favors you owe friends

The final evaluation will consist of a cumulative exam, a 15-20 page paper on a poorly conceived topic chosen in week two, and a 5 minute oral presentation, none of which are to be started earlier than 48 hours before due. Students will be graded on their time-to-typo ratoi.