Two women at the beach shaking hands "Sorry I haven't visited, the distance you know!"

Curriculum For A Survey Course In Apologizing

On August 30th, 2016 in Humor

Course Description: This course will focus on the role of apologies in daily life. Topics include the structure and basics of apologies, the physicality of apologies, and the applications of apologies in professional and informal situations.

Prerequisites: Social Anxiety 101 and Constant Self Doubt.

Unit 1 – Introduction: Parts of an apology

  • Synonyms for ‘sorry’
  • The introductory apology
  • The grievance and its apology
  • The recap apology
  • The post-apology or apologizing for apologizing so much

Unit 2 – Physicality

  • Eyes: Wide and pleading, or abject and down cast
  • Chewing: Lips or cheeks, which is better?
  • Hands: wrist wringing and nervously picking at nearby objects
  • Legs and feet: shifting your weight and tapping your feet without distracting from your apologies

Unit 3 – Apologies in Action

  • Apologizing to coworkers
    • For not working enough
    • Email etiquette:
      • When is an exclamation mark after sorry too much?
      • Apologizing while asking for clarification
  • Apologies to friends
    • For working too much
      • Telling friends “I will pencil you in” while also sounding sorry you have to use that phrase
    • Texting
      • Sorry, sry, or soz?
      • Apologizing in emojis
    • At events
      • Apologizing for being early
      • Apologizing for being late
  • Around town
    • Apologizing your way around people in cramped walkways
    • Apologizing for looking in a public worker’s direction
    • Apologizing to customer service associates
      • Apologizing for asking for the correct sale price
      • Apologizing to management for making them come over here
      • Apologizing for unruly customers
        • In your vicinity
        • In general

The Final exam will consist of a practical in which students will be required to apologize to the class for their performance all semester, and then to the instructor for their apology to the class.