An old sci-fi book cover. A figure in a yellow hooded robe with black wings stands on a rocky landscape.

8 Things Wrong In Science Fiction

On June 6th, 2016 in Quibbles

Or, A Pedant Grossly Misses The Point Of Sci-Fi Stories

There is absolutely no way you are going to convince me a society can function with a calendar that resets to zero every year. A metaphor? No, it’s just a terrible way to run a government: WHAT IF A BUSINESS GETS AUDITED?

In the entire history of middle earth there has been zero tech progress. Sounds like it’s filled with a bunch of dummies. Sounds like Sauron is an innovator trying to disrupt a market that’s been stagnant for 3000 years.

Is Star Trek some sort of Cold War alternate future where politicians realized the true potential of double speak and now they only use Kennedyesque words like “explorer” instead of “naval officer” and “neutral zone” instead of “war front”?  Also, why is there always only one character in every series wearing chunky sweaters? Is no one else cold? Aren’t their ships temperature controlled?

If the entire wizarding population of the nation is served by one school why do they need such a big Ministry of Magic? No wonder it’s corrupt.

Humans are exploring the galaxy, but sure we definitely need a kid to remind us that you can rotate your reference frame and make the gate DOWN, a thing we have known in mathematics since at least the 19th century.

Also, why is reducing exposed area not the first thing a military strategist tries? And, technically since there is no fixed reference the gate isn’t really down either, but I guess I get what you’re saying.

There are how many kings fighting over this uncomfortable iron chair? This is dumb. Monarchies are dumb. The smallfolk should revolt and form a representative government.

Why are those trashcans moving? Why is everyone running away from them? Why are they asking for explanations? Are they also confused about why the guy who regenerates is so afraid of getting shot?

I was going to say religious fundamentalists seizing the government and creating an almost medieval cast system of handmaidens was unreasonable, but I’ve been following these primaries and I don’t know now.